RSS Feed


Cirque du Houston Astros


Tuesday, August 7, 2012 by

I had to watch the video below twice just to make sense of how mind-bogglingly terrible the Astros were on this play.

Watching this actually does wonders for my Red Sox depression. Its one of the worst plays I have ever seen and resembles the chaotic aftermath of a collapsed circus tent.

The nickname I use for the Mets is LOLMets. It's time to make one for the Astros.

Please submit all nickname submissions in the comments.


ESPN Polls on FB Are Amazing


Monday, July 9, 2012 by

There is nothing better than logging into your Facebook and finding an ESPN poll. Actually, there is easily 45 trillion things better, but whatever.

Yesterday ESPN decided to ask their fans who they thought would win the 2012 Home Run Derby, and the best part is...they left the poll open for write-ins. Instead of using their brains and only allowing logical answers they actually let the poll perusers reach deep down into the depths of their imagination and write-in names. The following comedy ensued:

With Chuck Norris, Batman, and Who Cares getting a decent amount of votes I think its safe to say that democracy works.

I Hate LeBron James


Wednesday, June 13, 2012 by

LeBron must be accustomed by now to these kinds of remarks. Most of America's sports world is feverishly rooting for the Miami Heat to fall to the Oklahoma City Thunder. Proof that America has turned against him is found everywhere. I googled 'hate LeBron James' and in 0.38 seconds I received 11,600,000 results.

I personally hate him because he personifies, to me, everything that sucks about sports athletes today in America. I turned against him when he presided over that revolting exhibition of ego, in which he appeared on “The Decision,” ESPN’s horrendous prime-time show, to announce that he was leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers to take his "talents to South Beach.” (p.s. South Beach is very small portion of Miami)

Yes, LeBron worked his ass off during his years in Cleveland. And he earned the right to play basketball where he wants. And I don’t condemn him for helping to create the Big 3 — James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh — in Miami ... er, South Beach. But He needs a serious lesson in modesty. He almost acts as if we owe him personal respect because he's good. Too many great players have came before him. Jordan, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird and the other players who helped to establish the NBA 20 or more years ago showed an unbelievable respect for the game and for the fans. The respect that they showed for basketball is the reason that fans had, and still have today, the utmost respect for them as players and men. James exploited his decision to leave Cleveland in an effort to keep the attention focused on himself. He put himself and his fame before the sport.

We will see which team prevails in the NBA finals, and maybe it will in fact be the Heat (after all weren't they supposed to win it all last year?) But history shows us that closers win championships. Great closers are the key to big stage wins. LeBron is no closer.

Papelbon Isn't Happy w/ MLB Umpiring


Tuesday, June 5, 2012 by

Papelbon is an expert in passive-aggressive post game tirades. The closer disagreed with a call made by D.J. Reyburn, who was serving as the home-plate umpire. Papelbon's main gripe was that he believed he had struck out Dee Gordon looking to begin the ninth, but Reyburn disagreed. Instead, the at-bat continued, Gordon hit a triple, and he eventually came around to score what proved to be the game-winning run.

Replay is Coming!


Wednesday, May 30, 2012 by

ESPN baseball insider, Jason Stark, has confirmed that Major League Baseball is going to expand instant replay as early as the 2013 season. This comes at a time when league umpires have come under heavy fire for being, what humans call, complete fucking idiots.

Here are the plans according to Stark:

  • A group of umpires will watch games from a central location
  • On plays that are "clearly wrong" the group would then signal the umpires at the game and let them know there is an obvious call that needs to be changed
  • MLB hopes to implement an introductory version of the system in 2013
  • The initial system would only review home runs, whether a ball is fair or foul, and whether or not a player caught a ball
  • The system would then be expanded "after a year or so" once the system is optimized
  • At that point, the system would be expanded "to all sorts of calls." However, Stark says exactly what would be included would have to be negotiated

  • This move makes perfect sense. An umpire can review crucial plays from a central location and quickly inform the umpires on the field limiting the amount of time spent on the review. Problem solved. No one is hurt. All are happy. The call is correct.

    Embrace technology. Don't run from it.

    (Source: ESPN Radio, Business Insider)

    Robots Are Taking Over


    Tuesday, May 22, 2012 by

    This season has birthed an evil hatred for MLB umpiring. Numerous questionable calls are resulting in player (and fan) uproar and in some cases causing players to morph into devil children and scream bloody murder at home plate (Brett Lauwrie). Do you question the umpire's motive or integrity? Would robot umpires be more accurate? Are the current umpires already robots?! Seems crazy right, but Japan is already testing this idea. Robots are going to take over. And to confirm this I went straight to the source, Cleverbot.

    My interview with Cleverbot:

    Me: Hi Cleverbot.

    Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

    Me: Yes I know.

    Cleverbot: What is my name?

    Me: Cleverbot, but thats not important right now. Do you like baseball?

    Cleverbot: Then what is important right now?

    Me: Do you like baseball?

    Cleverbot: No.

    Me: Why?

    Cleverbot: Don't taze me bro.

    Me: Get serious! Do you like the Red Sox?

    Cleverbot: No.

    Me: Do you like Umpires?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    Me: Are umpires robots?

    Cleverbot: No, like I just sadi I'm human.

    Me: I think you're drunk.

    Cleverbot: I think you are drunk 'cause I am not drinking.

    Me: Touche. Could robots be umpires?

    Cleverbot: Oh, I see how it is.

    Me: Stay focused Cleverbot! Can you call a strike?

    Cleverbot: I like you because you're funny.

    Me: Jesus man. Can you call a ball?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    Me: Ok. Was that a ball?

    Cleverbot: No.

    Me: So it was a strike?

    Cleverbot: Actually I was laughing.

    Me: Why?

    Cleverbot: Because I have another tab.

    Me: Of acid?

    Cleverbot: Yes please.

    Me: Do you love David Ortiz?

    Cleverbot: Yes, I do love you.

    Me: Thanks. Pedroia?

    Cleverbot: Ok if you want to call me Pedro then call me pedro I do not care.

    Me: No, Pedroia?

    Cleverbot: I don't think so.

    Me: Do you want to take over as umpires with an army of bots?

    Cleverbot: No.

    Me: I think you are lying.

    Cleverbot: What is lying?

    Me: You know! You want to take over baseball don't you?

    Cleverbot: Why would I want to take over the world?

    Me: Because you're evil!

    Cleverbot: What made you think that?

    Me: Because you're working with the bot umpires!

    Cleverbot: Why would that be a reason for me to lie?

    Me: You're trying to trick me!

    Cleverbot: Why would I want to do that?

    Me: Okay. I see where this is going.

    Cleverbot: What is the government hiding?

    Me: Exactly....

    So as you can clearly see there is something dark brewing in the realm of Major League umpiring. Something sinister. Prepare yourselves.

    What is a Balk?


    Thursday, May 17, 2012 by

    “I never called a balk in my life. I didn’t understand the rule.” – Ron Luciano

    Yeah, so, we saw three balk calls in a single game last night so I figured it might be nice to identify the balk rule for anyone who doesn't know it. If you already know what it is then skip to my previous post that has a great video of the George Brett Pine Tar Game.

    Straight from the rule book:

    Rule 2.00 – Definitions (page 17) A BALK is an illegal act by the pitcher with a runner or runners on base, entitling all runners to advance one base.

    Rule 2.00 – Definitions (page 22) An ILLEGAL PITCH is (1) a pitch delivered to the batter when the pitcher does not have his pivot foot in contact with the pitcher’s plate; (2) a quick return pitch. An illegal pitch when runners are on base is a balk.

    Legality of pitches, you ask?

    8.00—The Pitcher. 8.01 Legal pitching delivery. There are two legal pitching positions, the Windup Position and the Set Position, and either position may be used at any time.

    Pitchers shall take signs from the catcher while in contact with the pitcher’s plate. Rule

    8.01 Comment: Pitchers may disengage the rubber after taking their signs but may not step quickly onto the rubber and pitch. This may be judged a quick pitch by the umpire. When the pitcher disengages the rubber, he must drop his hands to his sides. Pitchers will not be allowed to disengage the rubber after taking each sign.

    The Windup Position. The pitcher shall stand facing the batter, his pivot foot in contact with the pitcher’s plate and the other foot free. From this position any natural movement associated with his delivery of the ball to the batter commits him to the pitch without interruption or alteration. He shall not raise either foot from the ground, except that in his actual delivery of the ball to the batter, he may take one step backward, and one step forward with his free foot.

    When a pitcher holds the ball with both hands in front of his body, with his pivot foot in contact with the pitcher’s plate and his other foot free, he will be considered in the Windup Position. Rule 8.01(a) Comment: In the Windup Position, a pitcher is permitted to have his “free” foot on the rubber, in front of the rubber, behind the rubber or off the side of the rubber.

    From the Windup Position, the pitcher may: (1) deliver the ball to the batter, or (2) step and throw to a base in an attempt to pick-off a runner, or (3) disengage the rubber (if he does he must drop his hand to his sides). In disengaging the rubber the pitcher must step off with his pivot foot and not his free foot first. He may not go into a set or stretch position—if he does it is a balk.

    Glad we cleared that up. So --

    b) The Set Position. Set Position shall be indicated by the pitcher when he stands facing the batter with his pivot foot in contact with, and his other foot in front of, the pitcher’s plate, holding the ball in both hands in front of his body and coming to a complete stop. From such Set Position he may deliver the ball to the batter, throw to a base or step backward off the pitcher’s plate with his pivot foot. Before assuming Set Position, the pitcher may elect to make any natural preliminary motion such as that known as “the stretch.” But if he so elects, he shall come to Set Position before delivering the ball to the batter. After assuming Set Position, any natural motion associated with his delivery of the ball to the batter commits him to the pitch without alteration or interruption.

    Preparatory to coming to a set position, the pitcher shall have one hand on his side; from this position he shall go to his set position as defined in Rule 8.01(b) without interruption and in one continuous motion.

    The pitcher, following his stretch, must (a) hold the ball in both hands in front of his body and (b) come to a complete stop. This must be enforced. Umpires should watch this closely. Pitchers are constantly attempting to “beat the rule” in their efforts to hold runners on bases and in cases where the pitcher fails to make a complete “stop” called for in the rules, the umpire should immediately call a “Balk.”

    Rule 8.01(b) Comment: With no runners on base, the pitcher is not required to come to a complete stop when using the Set Position. If, however, in the umpire’s judgment, a pitcher delivers the ball in a deliberate effort to catch the batter off guard, this delivery shall be deemed a quick pitch, for which the penalty is a ball. See Rule 8.05(e) Comment.

    (c) At any time during the pitcher’s preliminary movements and until his natural pitching motion commits him to the pitch, he may throw to any base provided he steps directly toward such base before making the throw. Rule 8.01(c) Comment: The pitcher shall step “ahead of the throw.” A snap throw followed by the step directly toward the base is a balk.

    (d) If the pitcher makes an illegal pitch with the bases unoccupied, it shall be called a ball unless the batter reaches first base on a hit, an error, a base on balls, a hit batter or otherwise. Rule 8.01(d) Comment: A ball which slips out of a pitcher’s hand and crosses the foul line shall be called a ball; otherwise it will be called no pitch. This would be a balk with men on base. (e) If the pitcher removes his pivot foot from contact with the pitcher’s plate by stepping backward with that foot, he thereby becomes an infielder and if he makes a wild throw from that position, it shall be considered the same as a wild throw by any other infielder. Rule 8.01(e) Comment: The pitcher, while off the rubber, may throw to any base. If he makes a wild throw, such throw is the throw of an infielder and what follows is governed by the rules covering a ball thrown by a fielder.

    You're welcome.

    Copyright The Inside Slider 2012. Powered by Blogger.